Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Pat Brett's moustache to divorce... Pat Brett!

In an incident that has rocked the advertising industry, Pat Brett's Moustache has filed for divorce... against Pat Brett.

"I just can't take it any longer," said PBM as he was leaving his solicitor's office in Soi Cowboy. "I do all the hard work, he takes all the glory. But that's going to stop. From now on, he's on his own."

PBM, who was looking better groomed than normal, continued his barrage of accusations against his estranged partner. "Do you think he could attract the girls without me? Not on your Nelly. I'm the one that tickles their fancy. Literally."

Pat Brett, who was looking rather strange with a hairless upper lip, refused to comment on the situation.

"It's between me and my moustache. Now fuck off," was his response to a group of journalists who were trying to question him as he jumped into a tuk tuk.

Industry insiders claim the relationship has been on the rocks for quite a while. One very close friend, who insisted on remaining anonymous, said, "I know Mr. Patrick and hairy friend long time. Mr. Patrick not say much. Leave talking to hairy friend. I like hairy friend. He real man. No like Patrick. He only like talk football. I not know football. It boring. I'm real lady. You buy me drink?"
PBM was last seen in Pat Pong living it up on whisky, beer and women with about fifty of his friends in King's Castle. Pat Brett was last seen at home alone watching Coronation Street and sipping a cup of chamomile tea.

The divorce proceedings are still under way.


  1. This shocking episode is another commentary on the declining state of morals in today's disintegrating family relationships. Why didn't this couple attend therapy, seek professional counseling, or the advice of a pastor or monk before resorting to the extreme action of separation? What about the children? WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN? The poor, fatherless, motherless, moustachless children? I weep for the children. On the other hand, maybe they are better off! That no-good rotten scum of a moustache never appreciated them for who they really were. The off-spring bastards of a mixed marriage...Western man and a moustache of indeterminant sex. Now they (the children, not the man/moustache) can get the support they deserve, from a loving family of an Asian woman and a merkin. Applicants, please post here.

  2. I think Pat will now have to grow his nasal hair to great lengths. It's the only alternative...

  3. I heard he has to split his assets 50/50
    Two inches to PBM and two inches to PB.
    Seems fair.