Friday, April 16, 2010

Pat Brett, the hardest working man in advertising

Pat Brett, a dedicated Protestant who never misses a Sunday service, consistently works 15 hours a day. "I can't help it," he says. "I just love strategizing, solving client problems and brainstorming with the creative guys. It's better than sex."

Charles Saatchi hailed Brett as the advertising icon of our times. "Forget Hegarty, Wieden and Goodby," he proclaimed. "They've got nothing on Brett. The man's an advertising genius."

When pushed to explain the success of the dapper adman, Saatchi just shrugged his shoulders and said, "What do you expect? He's jewish".

When he's not slaving away in the office, Brett is helping underprivileged country girls who have made their way to the city to find work. "I see them coming down here in the busloads," explains Brett. "It just breaks my heart. Poverty's an awful thing."

Brett makes up little rice packs for the hungry girls and hands them out as they come off the bus. "He's a very nice man," said Porn, a pig farmer from Issan. "He's like my father, all wrinkly and smelly but very lovable."

Brett will be inducted into the advertising hall of fame this coming Saturday. "I won't be going to pick up my trophy," explained Brett. "I've just got too much work on."


  1. This isn't funny at all. I didn't laugh until tears filled my eyes. And I didn't forward it to my colleagues.

  2. This is not a comment.

    I haven't met Pat personally and disagree with everything that's been said.

    Keep up the bad work Andy.

    Lord Lucan (Mrs.)

  3. I know it's all in good fun, but I don't think the unregulated nature of the internet means we should feel free to propagate blatant lies - Pat Brett is not dapper!

    Andy, I demand that this comment be removed.

    The rest looks fine.

  4. Thank god for honest, fact based journalism.

    If it wasn't for the efforts of people such as yourself Andy, letting us know of the hard work and dedication of individuals such as this 'Pat Brett' gentleman, then we might end up laboring under the misapprehension that he could be the type that had never done a hard day's work in his entire professional career...

    And that would be just wrong.

  5. Shannon. This is compulsive Liar. Pat IS dapper.

  6. News just out. Paul Davies is the winner of this week's million dollar prize. Well done mate. The cheque is in the post.

  7. Yes it is true, Pat is the hardest working person I know. He never even has time to grab a quick nourishing herbal tea anymore, not even after his early morning fitness class. But it must be worth all the hard work, you can see how successful he is by his stylish fashion sense and very 'in' Bruce Willis hair style. Who would dare to say he is not dapper.

  8. Dapper, teetotal, hard-working, dapper, abstemious, diligent and above all dapper! How else to describe the unassuming, dapper Adonis whose names isn't an anagram of Be trick Pratt. He's also extremely dapper.

  9. I have always suspected Pat to be all that you described, Andy.
    Also, his commitment to environmental issues i.e. "crop failure" show a social consciousness that we can all learn from and adopt as part of our larger evolutionary plan